• Artistic

    I’ve been fortunate to have been the inspiration for art. The truth? After I was talking to a friend yesterday, I realized that art is one of the reasons why I modeled in the first place. The bonus is the interesting people that you meet as well as the legacy, however minor, that you leave behind when the beauty fades. Images are forever, eh?
    This DVD cover was digitally altered from a photo shoot I did with Chad Michael Ward from about 15 years ago. 
    I was a trendsetter even then as I had no idea who he really was. It then seemed that nearly every Suicide Girl was trying to shoot with him. All I will say about the time that I worked for Suicide Girls is this:

    Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member! – Groucho Marx

    I’ve been in two published art books.
    With the first one, I discovered that I was in one of them when a friend and I were browsing the Hustler Hollywood store on Sunset Blvd.
    Maybe I’ll link them here sometime.

    Here’s some recent art, the before pic and the after pic. People can do amazing things in Illustrator, no?
    I feel like this is hard to live up to. That the view that I have of myself doesn’t match what the world sees on the outside. I certainly don’t see this when I look in the mirror. Selfies are a blessing and a curse because I’m very self-conscious.
    A long time ago I either came up with or heard this saying somewhere: the best way to be exploited is to DIY. Maybe exploited is the wrong term here, I don’t conflate my experience with what other people have gone through and I know that I still have privilege in what I choose to do.
    However, if one makes money with their appearance and doesn’t hurt anyone (except for the ego and perceived power of those that would render our existences as those of handmaids), who cares? But the gatekeepers are still powerful. 
    We shouldn’t have to edit ourselves at every turn as women and anyone else marginalized in order to appease the conservative masses.

    I’m an acquired taste. Bottom line is if you don’t like me, acquire some taste.

    It’s been a long ride getting to the place where I can reasonably accept myself and not be devastated if I’m not invited to sit at anyone’s table. What about having your own table instead? There’s plenty of room.