Category: Life

  • Where Have I Been?

    Where Have I Been?

    Where have YOU been? Hehe.

    So where has the year gone? I mean, seriously. It’s practically mid-April and the weather is getting warmer. Pretty soon it’ll be hotter than hell and humid.

    I hope that you’re staying safe and healthy. I’m scheduled to get the first vaccine next week and I can’t wait for there to be more options in life besides going to the grocery store double and triple masked.

    Most of the time I do grocery pickup and delivery, if I’m feeling fancy.

    This is what I was just up to a couple of days ago and I thought that I’d share the video with you.

    My birthday is in a couple of months, wow.

  • I Almost Deleted This Blog!

    I Almost Deleted This Blog!

    WTF. So, how’s it going?


    I mean, really?

    And can you believe that I almost did something fairly permanent??

    Ok. Deep breath. 
    I was about to this website altogether!! Before nearly doing so, I decided to make it private and not visible to the world before I made my final decision.
    2020 has been quite the rollercoaster, right? I’m now 46, although pandemic birthdays aren’t quite like normal but hey, at least I’m alive to have another one.
    So clearly, since you’re reading this, it means that I did NOT delete this blog. In these times of very real uncertainty, I wasn’t sure that I was going to be able to keep up this alter ego. Or if I actually wanted to, honestly.
    I’m not a quitter, though. It’s true, sometimes it takes me a very long time to finish my projects. I usually have at least 10 things going on at once.
    I’ve had a lot more time to spend at home, sheltering in place, on a lot of things, including overthinking. I’ve been doing my best to chill out and prioritize things. 
    Now that I have decided to not delete this blog and alter ego, I’d like to hone in more on writing here and sharing pictures, of course. The refocus will be on sharing what I feel is my most glamorous and best version of myself. COVID-19 and all.
    It’s been hard, though. Daily reality continually creeps in and bursts my bubble, imagine that.
    Hopefully you’re feeling healthy and safe. With all of the ridiculousness in the world, I’m doing my best to not get overwhelmed by the latest crap in the news.
    My reality this fall will be homeschooling though, and what’s a modern gal to do? I never ever imagined that I’d be June Cleaver so we’ll see.
    I’m also not tone deaf to the ills going on around the world. I do my best use my “white-appearing Latina” privilege and resources whenever I can, to speak up for the marginalized. What’s happening right now in Portland and now in Chicago is horrifying, I never thought I’d see the day where we’d live in a police state.
    That said, we must be diligent citizens. Wear your damn mask!
    So I’ve been working on a couple of YouTube channels and here are the recent videos:
    I’m also on TikTok, and that’s been a little odd because I got 100 followers there in like 2 days. They’re also heavy on censorship so we’ll see how long I last and what I end up posting.


  • Personal Style Questionnaire

    Personal Style Questionnaire

    Happy 2020! It’s been awhile.

    Yes, I had so much that I wanted to post about life, the universe, and everything.

    However, after seeing Kailey Mermaidens post her answers  (originally from this questionnaire), I was inspired and motivated enough to answer these for my own post here.

    Quoted from Kailey’s post:

    I used Google Translate to translate the questions, and edited it myself to sound more natural. If any of the questions don’t quite line up with the original ones in Swedish, thats why! I did my best with my limited resources :’)

    I’ll always have a place in my wardrobe for the beloved Peter Pan collar dress a la Wednesday Addams.

    This is my favorite little black dress style as it’s so utterly versatile. Dress it up or down with shoes and accessories. The below pic was taken after work, and I had just added more makeup and put on contacts. Again, versatile.

    Dress, thrifted

    I can’t believe that I can fit into this outfit again! My body has changed a lot after having two kids but 90’s fashion is back, right? Maybe I’ll find the right occasion to wear it again, it’s been a while since I’ve been to a proper rave.

    OG JNCO raver pants

    If I remember correctly, I think I got those JNCOs at the Ross Dress for Less on Sunset and La Brea (is it still there?) The fuzzy blue halter top was thrifted, probably from the Goodwill on Hollywood Blvd. in Los Feliz.

    Ok, without further adieu, here’s the Q + A!

    What are clothes to you?

    I think clothes are your ultimate statement. Whether you want to express a particular mood or vibe, or go incognito, clothes allow you to ultimately be who you want to do be, or not. What’s that saying? Dress for the job you want, not the job you have?

    I’ve always been aware of the power of clothes to make a statement. I grew up in an immediate family of very fashionable bonafide clothes horses, so I think I had no other choice but to pay attention.

    My parents had a store on the east side of Melrose Avenue and between their store and the other stores on Melrose like Flip, Cowboys and Poodles, Aardvark’s, and more, I couldn’t resist the call of fashion!

    What is your “I don’t know WHAT to wear” outfit? 

    I’d say a longer bodycon or ruched dress or the Peter Pan collar dress I mentioned above. Tights are a no-brainer, definitely heavier ones for winter, although I’ve been known to dress them up with fishnets. I’d probably wear fishnets all the time if I could!

    What are you sleeping in?

    It depends on my mood, then the weather! My go-to pjs are a pair of heavy cotton in the perfect leopard print by Betsey Johnson. I guess they’re practically vintage if they’re from 2000?

    I love my velvet chemise by Intimately Free People. In addition to being warm, comfy, AND sexy, it’s also one of the few pieces in recent memory that I purchased brand new, at Nordstrom. Whenever I can, I thrift, but that has its limits when it comes to undergarments and intimates.

    I also have two pairs of men’s boxers that I love to wear when I sleep, one by Calvin Klein and one by Hugo Boss. I love to pair them with a thin cotton t-shirt, usually my Blondie (with too many holes!) or a light cotton cami.

    Keiko-Chan in Sweetheart

    What is your favorite store?

    The Goodwill Outlets, unanimously. I’ve been so fortunate to have found so many priceless and amazing things in my travels.

    It would take wayyyy too long to list some of the astounding finds I’ve unearthed from “the bins” in every city I’ve lived.

    The Los Angeles and Seattle outlets were the most fruitful overall, in my experience.

    One of the best flips I ever did was of a gorgeous lilac kimono blouse by Stella McCartney. It cost $1 from the bins in L.A. and I sold it for something closer to $200! That outlet store is among the most gnarly, though, as in cutthroat, there’s security there for good reason. The last time I was there, another thrifter threatened to “cut a bitch!” Yikes. Be careful out there!

    I’ve also found Jean Paul Gaultier, almost every brand of super fancy denim, John Galliano, and my most recent couture find was of this Rick Owens Lilies dress at the Portland Goodwill outlet. So what if it has a teeny tiny hole? It’s imperfect, like me, and that’s just the way I like it.

    What do you prefer when you dress up?

    Anything slinky, think bodycon (body conscious), ruched, faux fur, or large print, whether floral or graphic. Some of the outfits that I’ve received the most compliments on were basic tube dresses, thrifted from the bins from the likes of Forever 21 or H&M or Zara or Asos.

    They’re so easy to dress up or down with accessories. I love high heels but my feet and body have been worse for the wear with them, especially after wearing platform Pleasers for a couple of years.

    Irregular Choice, Jeffrey Campbell, and John Fluevog are part of my “sensible heels” collection and I try to wear them whenever possible.

    What are your best life hacks when it comes to clothes?

    The saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” doesn’t just apply to books!

    With clothes, looks can be deceiving so it’s imperative that you try things on before you buy. No matter what size you think that you fit into, you’ll find many things are mislabeled. Sizing isn’t universal and if i would have listened to what tags say, then I’d have missed out on a lot.

    Find an awesome tailor or seamstress, as well as a shoe cobbler, in your neighborhood. Sometimes a simple tweak will change a garment forever. The so-so and donate piles can become fabulous. For me personally, I’m short waisted and have bigger boobs and a small band size.

    What do you feel best in?

    It depends on my mood. I wear what I like, when I like, occasion appropriate, but I always make an effort to look put together, even at one of my “day jobs”.

    I usually wear all black and I like to layer with textures. You can’t go wrong with an accent piece or two in a different color, whether shoes, contrasting shoe laces if you have to wear athletic shoes, or a huge red belt.

    How do you sort your wardrobe?

    Ooof. This is getting a little easier to answer because I have my wardrobe in different places! 😉

    The huge faux fur coats are in the actual closet, but I have a garment rack as well as storage, multiple rooms for storage. The items that I keep for nostalgia that I can resell and/or pass along to my kids are in storage bins, although I want to figure out a decent DIY upgrade.

    Which garments do you find difficult to find?

    Vintage lingerie that fits!! I’m a 32D-DD so it’s tricky to find things that fit. It’s also trickier to find garments that aren’t trashed. I’m also short waisted so it’s tricky to find pants that properly fit my waist to hip ratio.

    What do you avoid in clothing?

    Baggy anything, “boyfriend” cut anything, acid wash, mom jeans, basically all the ugly 90’s fashion that seems to be all the rage right now. Yikes! It’s not flattering to my body type and I would feel ridiculous in it. I also try to avoid most fast fashion, unless second hand.

    What do you wear when you’re just “at home”?

    Vintage slips that I hand dye, work clothes if I haven’t had a chance to change, or just my bra and panties if I’m all alone. I just got some fabulous Betsey Johnson leopard floofy slippers that I need to wear more often around the house!

    How do you dress seasonally?

    Since I’m from L.A., what seasons? Seriously though, I do my best to compromise when the weather is dreadful and I layer, layer, layer. You won’t find traditional winter wear in my wardrobe though, I am not fond of North Face, Patagonia, REI, or any of that stuff. It’s just not right for me and my style.

    I layer long-sleeved shirts under dresses and still bring umbrellas with me. I love hoodies and practically live in my Betsey Johnson puffer coat that I got at the Goodwill bins, of course.

    What garments do you never wear?

    See above with the “what do I avoid” question. I love jewelry but rarely wear it. I love hats too but rarely wear them. I have a huge head, size XL in Kangol and get self-conscious about my head size. Bigger brain, though? *wink

    What have you worn that people didn’t like?

    My vintage raver clothes, for sure. I’m not for everyone, though, and that’s fine.

    I had a boyfriend that absolutely despised fishnet hosiery and blue nail polish. I didn’t let that stop me and that was but one of the reasons that we broke up. I’m an acquired taste, if you don’t like me, acquire some taste, haha.

    I love writing prompts like these and I’d love to know what your answers would be to these questions!

  • Faux Fur Favorites

    Faux Fur Favorites


    This post contains affiliate links. This means that I may earn credit or a small commission if you make a purchase. Please note that I only recommend products, tools, and services that I love and always have my readers’ best interests at heart.

    Those of you that know me even just a little bit are aware of my obsession with faux fur.

    If you’ve seen me out and about or even in and about, chances are that I’m wearing a faux fur. If I’m not, then I’ll either be wearing my vintage Alpha Industries green flight jacket parka (that I got thrifting in the Bay Area for around $10) or my Betsey Johnson calf-length puffer coat (acquired at the Goodwill Bins for between $2-3).

    This post is designed to show off some of my collection and I’m sure I’ll have an update or two very soon!

    To kick off the second image in this post, it’s a picture of a faux fur by Betsey Johnson that I acquired at the Betsey Johnson outlet in Camarillo, CA. My last $125 at the time. I remember coveting this coat when I saw it before it made it to the outlet.

    This was in 1996 (so the coat might be older than you?) and I know this because it took around a year to wear it because it was never cold enough in Los Angeles. I still don’t know how I beat the heat for so many years.

    So I went to London, England in October 1997 so I actually could wear it! Half kidding, but I lived in this coat while I was there.

    Who says that you can’t be glamorous and warm at the same time?

    Here’s a pic of me in London during the night of the Skin Two Fetish Ball! I had my hair done in a sleek blowout, which wasn’t easy since this was before the blowout craze decades later. Such a happy night!

    How many Betsey Johnson coats do I have anyway? Here’s another one, this is what I call my monster fur. This coat will wear you if you’re not careful and it’s definitely not for the faint of heart or however the cliche goes.

    I acquired this at Out of the Closet on Hollywood Bl., after it had been sitting overpriced during the summer for many weeks. It was marked $110 and sitting near the counter while I was checking out at the register.

    While making polite conversation with the cashier, I casually mentioned that I’d been eyeing the coat but that it was a bit out of my budget, a pity too since no one could appreciate it in the Los Angeles summer like I can.

    Wouldn’t you know, he asked me what I could afford and I said that I’d give him $60 on the spot because that was all I’d have left after making my other purchases. Who knows what the hell else I bought that day? Who cares with a coat like this?

    So I’d carbon date this coat to be closer to the year 2000. It’s hard to wear sometimes with my blue hair when I want to blend into the crowd. It’s also very warm and I’ve slept in it before on a chilly night.

    This is a vintage coat that I’ve had for aeons. I got it for $5 at a thrift store in New Orleans, I believe, in 1999 or 2000. Notice a pattern here? LOL. This coat is currently in a giant purple bag that I accidentally acquired while I was still on contract at Google. It’s a nice big nylon bag that can accommodate a coat of this size and bulk.

    The coat is in the bag needs a proper dry cleaning as my at home cleaning methods no longer suffice. There are also some issues with the lining, if I remember correctly.

    I’ve had this coat perhaps longer than the Betsey Johnson leopard one. I can’t remember where I got it, but it was in Los Angeles while thrifting. Since I’d mostly acquire faux fur based on it being very affordable and off-season, no doubt I got a great deal. This is the coat that I use when I’m cosplaying as Rachael Tyrell.

    I no longer have this coat but it was cute only for certain outfits, surprisingly with jeans. I rarely wear jeans anymore because I can’t find any that can accommodate my hips and smaller waist.

    This brown coat is from H&M and I got it for $20. Their faux fur is of surprisingly decent quality.

    Here’s another brown coat from H&M that I rarely wear.

    This is one of my favorite vintage coats! I’ve had it for at least twenty years, I’ve moved it from state to state. I got it for $10! It’s a very heavy wool and keeps you very warm and looks amazingly glamorous in the process.

    Since I’ve been dancing again, I’ve acquired some new faux furs. This coat is terrific, fits incredibly well, and is a hell of a deal on Amazon. Meet the Anself Women’s Shaggy Faux Fur Coat Solid Color Long Sleeve Short Jacket and I find that it runs pretty true to size but I do like my jackets on the more fitted side.

    Here are my two most recent acquisitions! Meet this clearance fur that I got at Target, of all places. $14!!! I could do something with the faux fur if doesn’t work out.

    This last faux fur on this page is rapidly becoming a favorite! I can’t believe that I got it at Goodwill for $9.99. What were they thinking? It’s in perfect condition and isn’t quite blush pink or beige, it’s that sweet spot in the middle.

    Edited to add that I forgot about my H&M kids coat and Altuzarra coat! Will update as soon as I find or take adequate pics!! 🙂

  • New? Start Here

    New? Start Here

    Hi. and welcome!

    I’m incredibly excited as I’m putting this new blog, vlog, and brand together.

    Truthfully I’m not quite sure where to start, because I feel like I’ve been writing this blog my entire life—in my journals and occasionally on my other blogs, from the days of LiveJournal to the ones that are dedicated to my favorite niches.

    I write every day but it never gets out there—most of my thoughts and mini revelations have been kept to myself over the years.

    However, I feel like now is the time to finally take the leap and start sharing what I have. It would be selfish and a shame to keep it all to myself, right? Maybe you (yes you, I’m talking to you) need it too. Or maybe you don’t.

    What if you know somebody else who does, whom you can share this with? Either way, I’m learning to put myself out there and share more freely and abundantly. Throughout the years I’ve battled enormous insecurity and low self-esteem and navigated the waves of the resulting depression and anxiety. The tide is in right now and I feel as if I have a decent handle of things.

    When I look in the mirror, I can still see traces of the 10-year-old me below. Forever a nerd, but I think that reinvention is key, as long as you don’t hurt anyone. The pic below was taken near my school, Melrose Avenue Elementary, and I was born into fashion and the entertainment industries, with both of my parents being early precursors to the modern stylists of today.

    Sharing is spreading valuable and empowering info that otherwise would be kept locked in a tomb. Did the Egyptians really take it all with them anyway?

    At this point with my advancing age and all, I’m over being reserved about my thoughts and opinions. I’m going to share what I believe is meaningful in hopes that it reaches somebody out there and makes a real difference. Hell yeah, why not? And that is why I’m so freakin’ excited.

    Remember, if it isn’t exquisite, get rid of it!

    This goes for relationships as well as items that adorn you and your personal space.

    The world belongs to those of us who work to become our best selves, crafting our lives, just the way we’ve always imagined. We’re in this together. So let’s kick some serious ass.

    What Is Rachael Tyrell?

    Rachael Tyrell is a special space on the Internet for the dreamers who believe, electric sheep be damned.  

    Rachael Tyrell is dedicated to the exploration of all of my personal niches. Some of them are unique on their own but I think I do a good job of integrating many different niches.

    Everybody is an artist in their own right—we can all create and live the life that we have imagined and dreamed of. We have the power to create our own world to our liking, and it starts with ourselves.

    And we should love/like ourselves and our lives fully—if there’s ever something that we don’t love, we have the power to change it and steer our lives in the direction we choose.

    The more creative we become, the more we open our eyes to the endless possibilities in which we can shape our lives. It takes practice and repetition to train our brains to think in new ways, but it’s worth it. Once you take 100% responsibility and control over your life, you will never feel stuck and you can make anything happen.

    For me personally, this means a life of purpose, love, and goodness, sprinkled with tons of creativity, music, art, beauty, knowledge, wisdom, and culture.

    To you, it may mean something else. We each have our own innate sense what our ideal life and world consists of. Our duties are to live those ideal lives and create ideal worlds around us in order to collectively contribute to a better, more beautiful world as a whole.

    In this way, we leave our own legacy and footprint in society and hopefully contribute to shaping its future. This is a sense of purpose that I’m excited about.
    Through Rachael Tyrell, I will be sharing everything I learn in becoming a better artist throughout life, covering topics in lifestyle, personal growth, music, creativity, culture, and whatever else moves me.

    I’m one of the people that refuses to stop learning, and as I continue to learn: to read, take classes, meet new people, and find inspiration, I find myself in awe and in love with life again. It’s been a while.

    It’s fun to discover what my readers read, learn, and are inspired by as well. Here’s a toast to you, let’s take a few to toast all of you, the ones who are driven by such fire, curiosity, and zest for life—the ones who maybe get me. I see you, too.

    Cheers to your ideas, unique knowledge and skillsets. Here’s to your tenacity in never settling for less!

  • Blade Runner Fashion

    Blade Runner Fashion
    Rachael by Craig Drake


    This post contains affiliate links. This means that I may earn credit or a small commission if you make a purchase. Please note that I only recommend products, tools, and services that I love and always have my readers’ best interests at heart.

    It’s not a big secret that both Blade Runner movies are my favorites, the first movie and the most recent, Blade Runner 2049. I’ve been rereading the Phillip K. Dick novel that started it all, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? I recommend listening to it via audiobook.

    Anyhow, I was doing some random searching in the wee hours of the morning and cannot BELIEVE that I somehow missed this editorial photo spread back in the day!!

    Steven Meisel has long been regarded as one of the top fashion photographers in history. This solidifies it and the fashion, oh my goodness! Thierry Mugler, check.

    I Have Seen Things…

    Photographer: Steven Meisel
    Stylist: Bill Mullen
    Model: Eugenia Silva
    Make-Up: Pat McGrath
    Hair: Garren

    This editorial is from the VOGUE Italia issue from March 1998.

    Before I discovered the existence of that spread, I also found these images:

  • Happy 2019!!

    Happy 2019!!

    Follow my blog with Bloglovin‘ 

    Happy New Year 2019! 

    Thank you so much for joining me on this journey. I wish you love and happiness and prosperity! 

    So the below pic is a reminder to me of how much I love fencing and how I need to get back to 1x per week, if not twice!

    This is the me from yesterday when I was trying on all the new glasses I got during the Sunglass Spot 50% off sale.

    I’d practiced doing some literal avant garde makeup the other night when I went on a date to Quarterworld. Humble brag, sorry not sorry, it was easy for me to get the top score on Galaga but I was actually tired and got a little sloppy.
    Plus I wanted to play most of the pinball and also go to The Space Room and play a game of pool somewhere.

    I’ve been thinking of everything that I want to do now that I’m getting a better handle on some momentary diversions. Between some anxiety and depression, it was very hard to manage my challenging attention span (or lack thereof). Perhaps it was vice versa.

    I had felt unproductive. That’s an understatement!

    Not feeling up to par affected every single thing that was going on, from all of my side hustles to personal relationships really sucks. I try and do my best but even I was annoying myself.

    This made me laugh a lot, even though I’m doing a better job distancing myself on Facebook lately. I know better than to do a third party auth but the results that my friend got were so spot on, just this once.

    So I got a kickass new haircut that I love tremendously. My new stylist is also helping me to work on a hair plan and it requires me to make a hardcore resolution: not to cut my OWN bangs in between appointments. 

    So far so good but who am I kidding? I have multiple pairs of haircutting scissors and need to hide them from myself.

    And don’t you just adore my new to me phone case by Valfre? I wanted this kitty cat phone case but wasn’t prepared to shell out $38 just yet. I’ve got one of the first iPhone 6 phones and I’m surprised the battery hasn’t crapped out on me yet!

    One of my other blogs has been getting more traffic again, just when I’d nearly given up on it. Not give up, per se, I had just felt resentful that I wasn’t scoring as many awesome items for resale. 

    I’ve got some sponsorship opportunities and want to best position them with my newfound title of ‘microinfluencer.’

    That said, I’m glad to see that the pendulum is swinging in terms of people going to other people’s websites. No more platform exclusivity where your content isn’t your own. I guess I’m kind of doing that with Blogspot but I’ve gotten so frustrated with the several times a day WordPress updates that have been breaking things in a big way. Not just on my stuff but on clients’ websites.

  • Super Duper Old YouTube Video

    Super Duper Old YouTube Video
    Requisite still from the first video so that Blogger has a featured image to show!
    This is a video I made during the first time I lived in Portland, in 2010. I’ll be doing more video logs in the near future.
    Here’s one I made yesterday with my Macbook and Photo Booth. Practice makes perfect or something?

  • Hiding in Plain Sight

    Hiding in Plain Sight

    Or should that be site?

    This post has been a long time in the making.

    When people I know very well ask me how I’m doing, I go with the expected “fine” or “good, how are you?” so that I don’t have to explain anything.

    It’s even harder to fake it when people ask me what I’m doing as a developer or designer. If the people that I’ve worked with and the people that I attended the coding boot camp with could see me now. Some of them know but it’s quite a small group indeed.

    Sure I’m always working on web development, design, PHP, some Javascript + my WordPress skillset (been going on 10+ years at this point). However, Portland, OR isn’t exactly known as being a good place for women in tech. 🙁

    I searched for that article but while doing so, I found this one, which gives me some hope.

    There are plenty of resources on Google if you’re looking for the academic side of exotic dancing.

    I’m not a women’s studies major. I don’t feel defensive. I’m a very part-time exotic dancer, what you might call a “stripper”. Many pretty girls in Portland currently are or have been in the past. Trust me, the pretty gal waiting at the bus stop with a backpack might not always be going to Reed College.

    Yet some of the smartest and most compassionate people I’ve ever known have taken up space in a strip club. Supposedly there are 55 strip clubs in Portland. This city is unlike any other in so many ways.

    I know of the strip club industry from my own experience + I don’t sugar coat anything. My voice is needed.

    The first time I was a dancer was in Seattle in the late 2000s, after I’d escaped from L.A. a little shellshocked.

    I’m older and more sarcastic than most.

    Although technically I’m a WOC (woman of color), my passable and perceived whiteness affords me privilege that other women do not have + it’s especially magnified in the exotic dancer industry. 

    Don’t even get me started on body weight + the struggles of being “too” or “not enough”. For the record, I’ve gained 15 lbs. since moving here again. I can imagine certain people in L.A. telling me that I’ve let myself go.

    Perhaps I’m also the soberest, so that brings an interesting nuance to my interactions at bars.

    I don’t *need* to drink to do anything in my life at this point. Addiction is very real for many people in Portland, not just dancers + patrons of this industry.

    What I’ve never understood is that cocaine hasn’t gone out of style. Now it’s super duper dangerous as I’ve been told it’s being cut with fentanyl. Wtf, people.

    One epiphany I recently had about being a stripper is that it’s not only the perfect schedule if you need flexibility.

    It’s also perfect if you’re struggling with any mental health issues.

    As a card-carrying member of the ADHD club, I know all too well what it’s like to be frustrated when I can’t manage my attention + occasional insomnia. Sometimes I feel I’m passible as a “normal” person when I need to be.

    Sometimes that leads to minor episodes of depression + moderate bouts of anxiety about my future.

    After all this time, I realize that I like challenging people’s antiquated beliefs about the whys of exotic dancing, but I’m not defensive about why I do it.

    It keeps me in better shape, physically and certainly with my sarcasm. I’m very grateful that I haven’t had to deal with serious amounts of unsavoriness, although I do have several halls of fame stories that I’ll maybe share here someday.

    This is a job I can leave once I cross the doorway out of the club to the real world, whatever that means to you.

    There are no phone calls at 3 am when your latest production build goes awry. What nagging performance reviews? Do as I do, show up ready to work and on time + keep your chin up. Your self-esteem + your future depend on it.

    Refrain from talking about others unless they’re sitting next to you. I’ve luckily avoided the persistent drama that way.

    On the flipside, there’s no 401k, no workman’s comp + you have to pay to work at strip clubs. Real talk. The current club(s) where I’m working is the least exploitative in my opinion.

    I’ve listened to horror stories of house fees and room rental fees (for private dances) at some other clubs. Sending a dancer home with less than $75 is despicable. Working a “prime shift” on a Friday night. One that involves at least 6+ hours of wear and tear on your body + soul. Again, WTF people.

    In a parallel universe, I could be some fellow dancers’ mom.

    My major pet peeve is that I could be rich if I had a dollar for every time I heard, “wow, you look great for ___.” For what, a human? A woman? A woman of a certain age, you mean?

    I’m reluctant to tell people my actual age because ageism is all too real.

    Now picture ageism in a strip club + then that shit goes into hyperdrive. Lately, I’ve been telling people because fuck it. Many times they don’t believe me and think I’m messing with them.

    Most of the time it works for me when I meet older guys that are creeped out by dancers that are 24 + under. I’m not the best hustle queen + I don’t feel the need to compete with younger gals with their pole tricks. The shoes are hard enough!